My Matsu

Waiting waiting waiting.

I wonder how much time is wasted waiting in one’s lifetime. There are so many things to wait for; like waiting for your break at work. Or waiting for the person you are fated to be with to appear; with any luck they will feel the same but if not then there is more waiting. There are even those that are impatiently waiting for their own death. Though there is something to be said about having a strong faith that the hereafter is better than here and now. But a life not enough to distract from death is something regrettable.

I sit waiting for the train to come watching people pass by. The writer in me makes up stories about the people passing by.

A young man sits nervously outside the station looking over the crowd of people each train delivers. He must be on a date and waiting for her to arrive. He came early to ensure that he was there waiting when she stepped out from the station. He checked his watch again, still early for her to be there, but he still looks for her with every train. It seemed that he was nervous enough for it to be the first date with the girl.

My mind always makes up stories like that. As I watched the girl come out, dressed in her best, I wonder how often I got it right.

When I worked as a cashier I would do the same thing. I remember once I started to ring up the next costumer automatically without looking up. Pretzels pretzels pretzels.... pretzels. We were either having a sale on pretzels or this guy loved them a little too much. Another bag of pretzels followed by a can of baby formula. I looked up at the young man and told him the total. I could almost read it in his eyes. He was a new father and tonight was going to be his first night out with the guys since the baby was born. He was assigned to get pretzels for the poker game. As he walked through the store he almost forgot that he had a baby until his cell went off and his wife, realizing they were running low on formula, asks him to pick some up.

"Have fun tonight!" I smiled as I gave him his change. He smiled and wished that I would have a good evening as well.

wonder how much in life is actually worth the wait. When one misses the train by a mere minute and the next is over half an hour away.. that is an example of when waiting is bitter. Had you only hurried or followed your gut in buying a return ticket in advance. You sadly only have yourself to blame.

In a moment like that you might turn the blame to someone else; if only he hadn't stopped me on the way out of the office or if only the person at the ticket machine wasn't there.

I personally believe that you are where you need to be. You might have missed that train but the next might just be carrying the person who you are to spend the rest of your life with as a friend or lover.

Even though you might lose sight of that, I think having faith you are where you need to be gets you through the waiting...